


This Side of Paradise

by astrognosy



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 01:49:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1880535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrognosy/pseuds/astrognosy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray Narvaez Jr. had always been a strange child. He didn't have friends, and his tendency for longer sleeves in his tween years had begun to worry his mother. Of course, his constant denials of anything being wrong seemed like the truth to her; that was, until she found him half unconscious in a pool of his own blood.</p><p>There had to be a change, and it seemed that Paradise High School for the Mentally Unstable was the perfect solution.</p><p>But Ray always finds a complication, and it seems that this time around it was going to be a young boy named Gavin Free.</p><p>(Obvious trigger warnings for self-harm, depression, and whatever other mental issues may come up. High School AU. You're probably gonna cry.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, obvious trigger warnings here. Please don't read on if you know it's going to affect you badly.
> 
> Enjoy.

The water running down Ray's back was definitely far too warm. It stung his shoulders as he sat, curled into himself on the floor of his bathtub. His showers always ended up like this; too long, too hot, and with an obvious lack of actual cleansing. He shampooed his hair like any other guy, but he saw absolutely no point in cleaning any other areas of his body. As if anyone would see much further than his neck anyways.

"Paradise High." Ray whispered into the falling drops of water. He liked to pretend his words would go down the drain right along with the steady stream that rinsed over him. "What a stupid fucking name." He sighed as he tucked his head in his arms and recoiled instantly at the sharp pain he felt, the pressure of his clean skin against the ones ridden with healing wounds hurt much more than he expected.

He didn't want to admit he had a problem. And honestly, why would he? He knew he could stop what he was doing to himself at anytime (made much easier now, since every sharp object in the house had been promptly removed after 'The Incident'.) and he certainly believed that sending him off to freshman year at a fucking mental institution was going quite too far. He could lead a normal life like any other teenager, the only difference was his tendency to split himself open and cry himself to sleep. Which, as he thought previously, was definitely _not_ a problem.

Ray sighed and decided that if he had to face the music, he might as well get it over with. He stood up and turned off the shower, steam still rising from him too-red and too-warm skin. His mom would yell at him for taking a scathing shower, of course, but by now she should be used to it. He toweled himself dry and went to his room to get dressed, long sleeves of course a necessity for the two hour road trip to Hell. He was already packed, only needing one suitcase and a backpack for his feeble amount of belongings. He found that he wouldn't be missing his room very much during the next nine months, as all it had ever done was provide him with space to cry and it felt all too small anyways during his sharp anxiety attacks. He knew the rooms at his new school would be even smaller than this, and for an instant he wondered if he would be roomed with someone. He scoffed at the thought of him ever liking someone enough to spend nine months bunked up in a room with them. And with one last look around the room, he heard his mother call him downstairs. And that was his queue to leave.

Ray took the stairs as slow as he ever had, making sure each step was heard by his mother. She knew quite well his feelings about going to what he insistently called 'The Loony Bin', and although she insisted that this would be good for him, that he'd finally be getting help, he knew all too well that it was over-optimistic bullshit. However, he loved his mother, and he knew that if anything he would miss her the most of all.

As he finished the flight of stairs, his mother stood at the bottom with teary eyes and a plate of toast with jam. He took it gratefully before setting it down to give her a hug. She quietly sobbed into her sons sweater, stroking his hair and holding him tight.

"I'm gonna be okay, Mom. I really am." Ray said, trying to make it as convincing as possible. However, he wasn't even sure if he believed those words himself.

\---

The car ride to Paradise was much shorter than expected. Ray found this mostly due to the fact that he fell asleep a mere ten minutes in, and didn't wake up again until they were at the gates. His eyes fluttered open and before him he saw what looked to be a beautiful castle. However, he knew better than to think that a place like this could be beautiful. He knew what was waiting for him inside. Understandably, though, he realized why it was named Paradise. The lakefront property and beautiful blossoming trees next to the ancient stone really did give it a heavenly feel.

As his mother pulled around the curb to the entrance, Ray saw many other children being escorted inside by pretty nurses. He wondered if they were all throughout the school.

His mother turned to him and sighed. They locked eyes for a minute before she pulled him into a bone crushing hug. Ray took notice that a nurse was already standing by his car. As the hug concluded, Ray's mother finally looked like she was ready to handle this.

"I love you. Be good." She said, finally. Ray squeezed her hand and tried to smile. He braced himself, and then opened his door. Instantly, of course, the nurse asked for his last name. He tried to glimpse at her chart while she looked for his name, but pulled it away from sight as soon as she saw he was looking.

"Alright, Narvaez. Your stuff will be taken to your dorm, but you're gonna come with me first for a physical and mental evaluation."

Ray didn't like the sound of that. "Don't you already know why I'm here?" he said with much more sass than he should've. The nurses raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes. As she turned to walk away Ray couldn't believe how rude she was and silently wished that all the nurses weren't like that.

The steps up to the building were nearly excruciating, and as soon as they entered the door the nurse took a sharp turn to the right into an office labeled "Dr. Sorola - Ph.D." Ray took a minute to look at the hallway and admire the buildings lovely build before following. Thankfully, the nurse was waiting for him right inside. He took a seat and the nurse went to the front desk of the office to scribble some things down on paper. About twenty minutes of this went by before the door to the actual office opened. A boy about his age with curly red hair walked out, fists clenched and ears red. Ray watched the boy storm out of the room with a key in hand, much like a hotel key card. He assumed he was done with his evaluation and going to his room.

The doctor looked at his chart and looked back up at Ray. "Ah! And you must be Ray. Son, come in. This won't take more than ten minutes." He reached out a hand and Ray stood up and tentatively shook it. He was then lead inside and sat down, and then the questions flew at him.

"So why are you here?" The doctor asked. Ray looked at him, dumbfounded.

"Doesn't it say? On your chart thing?" At this the doctor sighed and nodded.

"Of course it does. But if you wouldn't mind, Mr. Narvaez, I'd like to hear to say why you think you're here."

Ray thought about this. He didn't like this at all, and felt like any answer could be a trap. "Well," he began, "my mother thinks I should be here. Because I had an... incident." He trailed off for a second before quickly snapping back into detention. "It's what doctors call depression and self-harm, and it's what I call my lifetime normality." He made sure the smug grin on his face showed just how much he didn't want to be here.

Dr. Sorola nodded again, much slower this time. "Alright then." He then proceeded to scribble some more things on his chart. All the secretive chart scribbling was making Ray anxious.

"Alright, Ray. You're gonna need to take off your sweater for the physical exam." Ray instantly panicked. Of course he was wearing a shirt under his bulky one piece sweater, but the whole point was for no one to see his body. The doctor was waiting expectantly and Ray had no choice but to pull the sweater over his head. To Ray's surprise, the doctor didn't even flinch.

Ray grew increasingly more comfortable with the doctor as he went through testing his ears, eyes and heartbeat. Once everything checked out okay, Ray instantly put his sweater back on.

"Okay then, it looks like you're ready for a room. Since you seem to be no danger to other people, you're going to have a roommate. Apologies if you disagree with my decision." Ray had given the doctor a look of pure annoyance. Rooming with someone? Fucking fantastic. He would have to be changing clothes at some point. Ray got his room number and key from the doctor, who told him that his dorm was on the second floor and that someone had already brought his stuff up.

Upon arriving at his room, 403, Ray noticed the door was open and inside was none other than the red haired boy he had seen before. However, now he looked much less angry, and even greeted Ray with an extended hand and a half smile.

"Hey, I'm Michael. And I assume you're my roommate." Ray nodded, and it took him a minute to realize he hadn't said anything back.

"Oh, yeah. Hi, um, yeah. I'm Ray. You're roommate." _Way to sound like a fucking idiot_ , Ray thought. But Michael didn't seem to notice, and went back to unpacking things into one of the two dressers that was in the room. "So, uh. What are you in for?" _Prison references. That'll get 'em._. However, Michael just shrugged and looked up at Ray.

"Well. Some people say I have anger issues, some people say I'm bi-polar. I assume it's one or a mixture of the two." Ray nodded in understanding.

Thankfully, Michael didn't ask him the same question.

\---

During the first day, they didn't have class. Since everyone was packing their things and getting settled (not the mention the kids who were very, very late), it was more of a social day to get to know the people around you. Well, about as social as it gets for a school for the mentally unstable.

Ray had met some interesting people. On the same floor as them, they'd met Jack, Geoff, and Ryan. Everyone else was too unsociable to talk to anyone at all, let alone their new roommates. The only person who's issues they'd learned about were Geoff, which seemed to be exactly the same as Michael. In the long run, Ray was sure those two would get along great. Jack and Ryan seemed nice too, maybe a little quiet, but so was Ray himself.

Ray was surprised at how lax everything was. Of course, they made you empty your pockets on the way to the dorms and scanned your baggage for sharp and harmful objects, but it almost seemed like any other boarding school. As if Ray would know what that's like.

Jack and Ryan were roommates, and supposedly Geoff was supposed to have one but he'd yet to show up. Of course, right on queue, a door swung upon down the hall and a boy with messy blonde hair and an absolutely ridiculous outfit was scrambling to find his room. He stopped in front of the door across from Ray's, which also happened to be Geoff.

"Ah, there you are. Dammit, I was hoping you wouldn't show and I'd get this room to myself." Geoff said to the newcomer. "I'm Geoff, and you?"

The blonde newcomer shook Geoff's hand with extreme enthusiasm. He was the last person Ray expected to see here. Unlike everyone else, this boy seemed to be happy.

"I'm Gavin!" And, whoa, okay, British? There was definitely something weird here.

"Where the fuck are you from?" Geoff said. Gavin looked taken aback by his near malicious tone, and Geoff quickly explained that he often times sounds like an asshole, but he avidly tries not to be. Not only that, but he was fucking beautiful. _No, you didn't just think that. You think he's conventionally attractive. You do not think this weird British boy is beautiful._ Ray told himself, although he couldn't stop himself from looking all around at his toned body and tanned skin. Seriously, what was he doing here?

"Well, I'm from Oxfordshire. It's in England, obviously. Sorry for being late, I took the bus here and he was a total knob! Anyhow, I better get- oh, they already brought my stuff up! Wow! I think I'll like it here. You all seem so nice, and-...." Ray stopped listening at this point. Gavin already seemed fucking annoying, and Ray was sure he could talk forever without his jaw getting tired. Apparently at some point Geoff introduced Gavin to everyone because the next thing he knew he heard a very British voice saying his name.

"Hello? Ray? Hi, yeah. I wanted to shake your hand, get acquainted?" Ray realized Gavin's hand must've been extended for a few minutes. He shook it briefly before going back into his own world of thinking (in particular, definitely not about how soft Gavin's hands were.) Besides, Ray was sure any feelings he had about this boy being a bit more attractive than average would fade quickly. They had with every other human he'd met.

Yeah, sure. Ray was into guys. It wasn't a big deal. He'd still never dated anyone, and he still thought girls were hot, but he'd always liked guys and he'd just accepted it. That was simply the way that it was.

Ray snapped back into reality to realize that everyone was talking, seeming to make friends. He rubbed his eyes, getting sleepier by the moment.

And then he bid them a farewell, and he went off to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

It felt like Ray had barely gotten any sleep before he was woken by an obnoxious universal school alarm. Michael looked just as pissed as he did, and as he stood up to go get in the shower and prepare for the school day ahead Ray could've sworn he saw his clenched fist shaking. Maybe he did have some issues after all. The alarm clocked that was glued to the center of the wall read 6:30, and it seemed ridiculous to be woken up this early when classes started an hour from now. Ray rubbed his eyes and groaned, covering his head with his pillow. A mere twenty minutes later and Michael had come back, dressed in similar clothes that he had worn yesterday. Ray thanked whatever God there was for the schools lack of uniforms.

"You might wanna go shower, dude. Lines filling up quick." Michael ruffed up his hair, obviously preferring his curls to be unruly.

"Please tell me there aren't communal showers." said Ray. Michael laughed at this, and shook his head.

"You're in luck, there's individual stalls just for you." And at that, Ray decided to hurry up and get going so he'd have more time to lay around in bed before class begun. He grabbed a towel from their closet (which was magically full with a whole stack) and headed over to the bathrooms. They were surprisingly pristine, and a lot less full than Michael had made it seem. Just as Ray was about to pull his sweater over his head, once he had made triple sure that there was no one around, one of the stall curtains flew to the side and out stepped none other than Gavin Free. In a fucking towel. The two made eye contact for an instant before a flurry of motions happened.

Ray wasn't sure what part of him reacted first. One, he had pulled his sweater back down. Two, he was blushing. Three, the sight of Gavin's toned chest went straight down to his pants. _Oh, fuck this._ And with that, he jumped into the stall that he had planned on going into and closed the curtain as quickly as possible.

Had he seen the lacerations all over his body? Had he seen how Ray blushed? Ray didn't even want to think about it. From outside his now closed stall he heard Gavin clear his throat.

"Well, good morning to you too." And with that, he was gone.

\---

The rest of Ray's time in the bathroom was quite uneventful, besides the fact that he had to spend most of it trying to get a half-naked Gavin out of his mind. Ray liked boys, sure, but he was not going to jerk off to some guy he'd barely met inside of a mental hospital high school. His life was inching more and more towards 'soap opera' and a lot less like 'reality'. So he let the hot water distract him instead.

By the time he'd gotten back to his room it was time for class to start. Ray finally understand why they gave the students a full hour. He had spent some time before sleeping last night memorizing his schedule, and since most of his classes were a mere few doors apart he didn't find the need to rush through the dorm building like many other students did. Ray finally noticed the cameras in the halls, and took a mental note to never do anything stupid there. In fact, there were cameras in most parts of the buildings, except for the students actual rooms. It finally sunk in to him that he was really here, at a mental ward for high school students. He couldn't have hated anything more.

His first class was Biology. Followed by English, Algebra 1 (then lunch, of course), World History, and the "fun" part of his day; Art. He didn't even like art, nor was he good at it. But you had to pick one elective and in all honesty it was the most appealing. 

Biology went by in a breeze. Ray had always been smart as a child, and he loved the feeling of getting good grades. It was one of the few things he found joy in.

However, no amount of brain knowledge could've prepared him for what waiting in English class.

The teacher was nice and easy going. As it happened, in his English class he actually found he knew people. Along with himself the class included Geoff, Ryan and... of course, Gavin. The last person he wanted to see today. As Ray walked in and saw Gavin seated next to Geoff, they made eye contact. He wasn't sure what he saw flicker in Gavin's eyes, but it seemed almost reminiscent to a sort of fear. Gavin didn't talk much throughout the class at all, although Ray had chosen to seat him next to Geoff. He was a mere two seats away.

As class started things progressed to get weirder. They were each assigned to write a creative writing piece to show what they knew about grammar, spelling, etc. Several times Geoff had to tell Gavin to stop bouncing his leg, since it made Geoff's adjacent desk move. About fifteen minutes of silence went on before it all went loose.

There was a scream, a clash, and several gasps as Gavin started to wail, throwing his desk to the side and collapsing on the floor, holding his hair with his hands and curling into a ball. Everyone in the class stared, a few backed away from him. Geoff, Ray and Ryan were still in their desks, held there by fear.

The screaming continued. "STOP! FUCKING STOP, PLEASE STOP AND GO NOW! I DON'T WANT TO AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Were the only words anyone could articulate from Gavin's cries. After five minutes which seemed like five years, a single security officer and a nurse came to take Gavin away. They also beckoned for Geoff to follow and he turned one last fleeting glance at Ray and Ryan before the door to the classroom closed. The screaming was heard down the hall until it eventually faded away.

Their teacher cleared her throat. "Alright, it's okay, calm down." One girl, with red hair and glasses, was having trouble breathing. Her friend next to her helped calm her breathing until all the panic in the room had gone. "Now, continue writing. Mr. Free is going to be just fine."

However, as Ray thought about the chipper boy he had seen a mere two hours ago, he felt as if everything was now the opposite of fine.

\---

Lunch couldn't have come quick enough. There were security guards at every door and a few nurses that were watching the students as they ate. The food wasn't half bad, and it actually reminded Ray of home. At their lunch table everyone had shown up, even Geoff. Of course, minus Gavin. Apparently he needed the rest of the day off to calm down. Geoff had insight on the outburst, however, making him a popular figure to nearly everyone in the lunch room. It wasn't until he shooed the crowd of people away that he explained to their group of friends why Gavin had acted that way.

"He's a paranoid schizophrenic. He has been all his life. He seemed so..." Geoff trailed away, "he seemed so normal. But of course, I suppose you can't be normal when you've managed to get locked in this hellhole."

Schizophrenia. Of all things, this gorgeous ( _He's not gorgeous, stop it Ray!_ ) boy had to be schizophrenic. Ray shuddered. He couldn't imagine what that would be like. Out of nervous habit Ray began to scratch at his knuckles, and nobody at the table thought anything of it.

"That boy's gotta have a tough life. He hears things, sees things, and then his parents ship him off here. To the Middle of Nowhere, USA." Michael said, speaking softly. Everyone was in shock. They knew something like that was bound to happen eventually, but not to their new friends.

"He's going to be fine. He just needs medication. They hadn't put him on any yet since it's his first day, but apparently he needs it all the time. That's why his parents sent him here." Geoff continued to ramble but Ray stopped listening. Eventually the bell rang to signal the last two classes of the day, and as Ray left the lunchroom with his knuckles scratched raw, he could've sworn he saw Michael do a double take. The look of concern on his face was enough to make Ray speed walk away.

\---

Ray was exhausted. Utterly, absolutely exhausted. There simply was no other word for it. He didn't think school would be taking this much out of him, but he figured it was from the stress of over-thinking Gavin's meltdown. It lingered there in his mind, the way he screamed at people that weren't there and what exactly it was that they were trying to make him do. It made Ray shudder.

The students had dinner after recreational time, which in itself was boring as fuck. They just sat on couches in a room and talked, mostly, until there was nothing else to talk about. Dinner was delicious, but now Ray was ready for bed. The students still had an hour of recreational time after dinner but Ray didn't even feel like it.

As he walked down into the hall to get to his dorm, Ray noticed Gavin walking from the opposite door to get to his own room. The hood of his jacket was up and he looked very cold, although the hall itself was probably seventy-five. He made eye contact with Ray and froze again. The look of some type of fear was back.

"Hey, man, hey. Are you alright?" Ray said, walking up to Gavin and putting a hand on his shoulder. At this, Gavin flinched and backed Ray up against the wall of the hallway. "Whoa, calm down! It's okay, what's your fucking problem?" Ray could feel Gavin's hands searing at his wounds as he pressed his wrists up to the wall.

And Gavin got close, so fucking close, that Ray could smell the scent of his breath and hear his shaky breathing.

And suddenly, Gavin let go. Ray rubbed at his sleeves and looked at Gavin with deep concern. Gavin's eyes flickered once, then again, and then he shook his head.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to." was all Ray heard and then Gavin was gone, inside of his own room where he heard Geoff kindly greet him.

Ray stood in the hall for minutes more until he too made the same decision and went into his room.

The last thing he thought about before he slept was the scent of Gavin's breath, and how it faintly reminded him of peppermint.


End file.
